Kirsten Fritzl the victim of the child abuse scandal in Austria is out of her coma. Kirsten Fritzl is said to be doing fine. The doctors treating her held a news conference at 10.05 GMT. Kirsten Fritzl has spoken to her doctors and her family.

Kirsten will remain in hospital while her immune system recovers from the damage sustained over the years in the cellar.

Both sides of the family are said to be over the moon and spending time together.

As was reported at the time Kirsten Fritzl had two parts to her family, the ones that lived in the cellar and those that lived in the main part of the house.

Members of the press also asked the doctors why the children, that were held in the basement of the house, have not been seen outside their newly rented apartment? Doctors explained that even things like clouds are strange and new to these children, everything that a normal child knows about the real world has to be learned by the Fritzl children.

The experts that have been looking after Kirsten Fritzl, and the rest of the Fritzl family, have appealed to the media to stay away from the town and to give Kirsten an her family time to come to terms with what has happened.

Now as I have said before, I find Russell Brand as irritating as hell, his voice is a bit like the one you get when you breathe in helium. AARGH!!……. Does a weird voice mean he’s gay?

If you have never seen Russell Brand before, I don’t know what to say, the way he looks and acts is hard to describe. If I had to describe him, I would say he looks like Edward Scissor Hands and acts like Sponge Bob Square Pants. …Only on steroids. I think we can agree that Edward and young Sponge Bob are not gay.

So what is the point I’m trying to make? Well basically, don’t believe a word you read on the net today. Except that I am Prince William.

If you are an American reading this, you will soon get the chance to make up your own mind, because Russell Brand will be all over your TV schedules like a rash, just like in the UK. Mainly thanks to appearing on things like The Jay Leno Show.

I really hope he does make it in the good old USA, because that means he isn’t over here. That means all I have to do to avoid looking at his big mop like head, is avoid re-runs of his crappy shows.

So God bless the USA for taking Russell Brand, gay or not. By the way please feel free to keep him.

I myself find Russell Brand irritating, and having Sky TV only makes it worse. The man seems to be everywhere. At this moment in time he seems to be on every; game show, chat show, and quiz. If there is an award show that needs hosting he’s there, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up doing the weather.

If you live in the USA and don’t believe me tune into Sky TV or Sky Broadband and take a look. In fact if you tune into Paramount Comedy or a similar service, chances are his big scruffy head will pop up somewhere. I might be getting paranoid but at the moment he seems to be stalking me. For example, last Saturday my Sky set top box froze and whose face was stuck on the screen for ten minutes, you guessed it, Mr B.

So what you say, well it gets worse, I went to my computer and logged on to the Sky help desk and there was Russell Brand, or was it just my reflection? The point is, if he does become famous in the USA they better be prepared for Brand over load.

I am not saying he’s not funny, he can be, its just how much of him can you take? Hopefully it will soon become America’s problem.

Until then, I am going to upgrade to Sky Plus so I can record all of Sky’s programmes that don’t have Russell Brand in them. So it looks like I will be only watching Sky News and Sponge Bob Square Pants.

The survivors told the Coast Guard they were forced to evacuate the sail boat after it took on water and capsized, USGS Capt. William Diehl told CNN “The flooding was so fast that the thing flipped over,” Although the sailing boat was well stocked with nautical safety equipment - including life jackets, tracking beacons, life rafts, and buoys - the sailing boats crew were only able to find four life jackets before the boat turned over.

The sailing boat crew were a close knit group, a fact born out by the way the acted when the boat capsized, when ” they went into the water, they had four life jackets among the five, and they huddled together and they exchanged the life jackets among them so that they could stay afloat,” Diehl said.

The sailboat, named Cynthia Woods, was one of about twenty-four boats sailing from Galveston, Texas, to Veracruz, Mexico, for the annual Veracruz Regatta race. The crew were all experienced sailors and sailing was a big part of each sailors life, which makes this makes this accident even more sad and tragic.

The thoughts and prayers of the sailing community and the world in general go out to Roger Stone’s family. I personally will also be saying a prayer for the rest of the crew of the sailboat Cynthia Woods, for the loss of their friend and colleague.

Dear Pet Insurance,

Can you tell me if my Pet Insurance covers my two elephants escaping from their handlers by tornado? I know when I took out my Pet Insurance I did not mention that the aforementioned animals could fly, to be fair I did not know this myself.

I love my pets. They may be big, grey, and drop faeces the size of a small family car, but they have a beauty all their own. Unfortunately, the animals of WaKeeney did not feel the same way about them. Four cats and seven dogs died of heart attack, a tortoise and a rabbit were stood on, and an arthritic tabby cat called Tom didn’t move quickly enough, and was buried in dung. Does my Pet Insurance cover death by dung?

Lastly, one of the elephants swallowed a small garden ornament. I have told the lady concerned that I would return the ornament when it passed through my little darlings system, but she did’nt seem to like the idea. Am I covered against ingested concrete gnomes?

Yours truly,
Elle Fant

Tornado’s can cause havec and heartbreak, but sometimes there is a funny side to a story. When you have finished reading this go and check your Pet Insurance, to see what you’re covered against.

No Win No Fee Solicitor
This started me thinking. Yesterday I was out with my wife and was hounded by people canvasing for injury compensation, and no win no fee solicitors. No win no fee solicitors? What the hell has happened to this country since solicitors were given the right to advertise. Watch the cable chanels and 4 out 5 adverts are for; accident lawyers, compensation lawyers, personal injury lawyers, and no win no fee solicitors.

Where is this poor mans no win no fee solicitor? He has spent time in jail for doing no more than telling jokes about the government, did he put in a compensation claim - I don’t think so. Now, he has been detained while trying to bring help to the cyclone victims. The Burmese government has given no reason for his detention, but Amnesty International had this to say, There’s simply no doubt this was done for political reasons … but has an extra element because it can presumed to be linked to the humanitarian assistance effort,”

A witness to Maung Thura’s arrest said that he was bundeled away and that his house was ransacked, and all his possetions were confiscated. Did compensation lawyers come running to his aid and get him compensation for the damages? O f course not, he’s languishing in jail with his house and life in ruins, while we in the west, watch adverts for no win no fee solicitors, where a fat woman wins 1000’s for stubbing her toe. The whole thing makes me sick.

Compensation lawyers are parasites, they incourage people to put in compensation claims for the most stupid of things just so they can get a big fee. Why don’t they do something useful, like human rights lawyer.

I’m sorry if this has become a bit of a rant, but to me the world has gone mad. So, please do me a favour.

The next time you get stopped by someone promoting a no win no fee solicitor or a phone call from the office of a compensation lawyer, remember this poor man and people like him, and tell them to get stuffed.

What was the most annoying thing about Lucinda Ledgerwood?

A - Her face?
B - Her lisp?
C - Her whineing?
D - The fact that she plays the Harp?

Answers in the comments please. If you agree or disagree with me about Lucinda Ledgerwood let me know.

What do we know about Lucinda Ledgerwood? Well we know she doesn’t speak to her family - no surprise there. We know that she is 32 and was born in Singapore, and that she has worked in risk management and IT. We also know she is not stupid after all she has degree in psychology and neuroscience. So why did she act so thick and wimpy?

All I can say is I’m glad Lucinda Ledgerwood is gone, but who is going to win?

For Alex the path to become Sir Alan Sugar’s Apprentice has not been easy. Alex’s comfortable life was shattered, when the Worthespoon family business - a children’s care home - went bust and they lost everything. The family had to leave their home and move into a rented farmhouse. Alex believes that the experiences made them a stronger and closer unit, and he give them full credit for his Apprentice success.

Alex, 24, says: “My parents are the keystone in my life and always have been.”

His entrepreneurial spirit was in evidence at an early age. Alex and his brother started bagging up manure and selling it as fertilizer. The business really took off, and the fertilizer became known as Wotherspoon’s Black Gold.

Alex Wortherspoon is not stupid either; he graduated from Aston University with a degree in managerial administrative studies, after spending a year in America, selling mortgages. After graduating he got a job with Sainsbury’ Energy, and rose to the position of regional sales manager.

When asked about his chances of winning The Apprentice, he said, “I’m physically weaker, but I want to stay to the end.”

The other Apprentice Candidates; Clare young, Lucinda Ledgerwood,Helene Speight, and Lee McQueen.

My verdict on who goes through to the Final Of The Apprentice - Alex Wotherspoon

The incident started as the plane stared to clime towards the jump altitude. It was only a few minutes after take off that the plane started to lose power. At 7000ft thick smoke and oil started to pour from the engine, covering the windscreen. With his vision impaired, the pilot managed to level the plane at 5000ft, with no thought for his own safety, the pilot told the skydivers to jump.

All the skydivers got to the ground safely, but could only watch as the plane made its decent.

Amazingly the pilot managed to find the runway and get the plane on the ground, but over shot the end of the runway. The plane flipped over and ended up on its back in the middle of a cornfield. To everyone’s relief the pilot was able to crawl from the wreckage with only minor injuries.

Bob Dougherty, the owner of SkyDive Greensburg, paid tribute to the pilot for getting the plane to the ground.

“He just ran out of runway, but he was able to put the plane in a place where nobody would get hurt,”

Understandably, Mr Dougherty was very proud every one concerned with incident, “15 people walked away because everybody performed professionally,” he said.

For Fourteen skydivers to jump to safety at 5000ft, the pilot to crash-land the plan, and everyone to walk away, is a pure miracle.

The Yves Saint Laurent brand was built on cutting edge design, flair, style and elegance. These qualities were spotted in Saint Laurent at an early age. At the tender age of 21 he was made chief designer at he house of Dior.

His first collection shook the fashion world to its core and propelled Laurent into the media spotlight. In many ways that first collection set the style for, what we now call, 50’s fashion with subtly flared dresses and trousers.

After only 3 years Yves St Laurent had to take charge of the fashion house after the death of Dior. St Laurent never looked back, collection after collection wowed public and professional alike. His famous trouser suits and highly coloured ethnic prints are now iconic fashion statements.

However, not everything in his life was happy. As a young schoolboy he was mercilessly bullied, to such an extent that he suffered mental and physical ill health for much of his life. Because of his mental state he rarely appeared in public.

Yves St Laurent’s death has left the fashion world in mourning. The editor of British Vogue, Alexandra Shulman, said he had helped bring fashion to the people:
“Before that people had small salons for rich people.
“Saint Laurent brought it to the people.
“He was young and groovy. Pop stars were hanging out with him and younger generations related to him.”

The French President Nicolas Sarkozy also gave praise to French fashions favourite son, paying tribute to Saint Laurent’s “creative genius…the first to elevate haute couture to the rank of art and that gave him global influence”. He went on to say YSL ‘understood what women really wanted’
“Yves Saint Laurent infused his label with his creative genius, elegant and refined personality… because he was convinced that beauty was a necessary luxury for all men and all women,” he added.

Speaking on French radio, Pierre Berge said his former partner had empowered women.
“In this sense he was a libertarian, an anarchist and he threw bombs at the legs of society,” he said.
“That’s how he transformed society and that’s how he transformed women.”
Famous French embroiderer Francois Lesage, who worked 40 years with the designer, said he was “devastated” by news of his death.
“I have never known a designer who would give so much thought to something when it was proposed to him,” he told French TV.
“It is a great grief for me.”

Today the fashion world is in morning; tomorrow YSL creations will bring joy back to millions.

Yves Saint Laurent may be dead, but every time we time see an Yves Saint Laurent dress or trouser suit, or even the scent of a Yves Saint Laurent perfume, we will be reminded of this great designer.